- is in the eye of the beholder... "And if your right eye causes you to offend, pluck it out, and cast it from you" - Matthew 18:9
- ________________
- Here I will place the full-length movie I am making, called "The Beauty Solution" in which I tell of the beauty contest I held (like the one People magazine held), to find the most beautiful woman in the world. Surprise! My wife took first place, Jennifer Aniston took second place and Megan Fox took third.
- With this art piece I celebrate our God-given ability to find more beauty in our lives than others do (or would); which is a key to finding happiness and joy.
- Research indicates "husbands rank their wives’ beauty higher than the average man does..." and "most of us think we're hotter than average..." Just like when we speed on the highway, we all can also quite automatically and positively deviate from the conventional signs, symbols and certitude of our fellow citizen's collective judgment, not only to find more beauty in our spouse, but to hold (often fiercely) extra-positive beliefs about nearly everything we cherish (our family, children, life practices, politics, preferences, religious beliefs, customs, ideas, expertise, purchases, vacations, music, and more).
- This innate capacity we have to go beyond the norm, to maximize assessments of ourselves, other people and things, is not just some trivial idiosyncrasy, it is a vital aspect of flourishing, a therapeutic skill we would be well advised to use more frequently and vigorously, because...
Evidence shows that people who hold pervasive
positive [beliefs] about themselves, their abilities, and their future
prospects are mentally healthier, happier, and better liked than people who
lack such [beliefs] ---The Happiness Hypothesis, p. 68
- _______________________
- Foray to...
the hunt
Learn about the general 3-Step process we all naturally use to maximize our positive assessments of people and things in our lives.
find evidence
It is beautiful and amazing how small and simple evidence (even just a piece) is enough for us to hold great, wonderful and often extremely consequential (that-we-would-die-for) beliefs.
reveal truth
Throughout your life, however wonderful and glorious you might have thought or believed yourself, others and your life to be...you have significantly underestimated.
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- Developing.....
- • Discuss how could holding this positive belief about his wife help this man’s marriage and personal happiness?
- • Consider what traits might a wife choose to find evidence that her husband is the most beautiful man in the world? The same? Different?
- • Be warned that we can lose our even our most precious beliefs. What should this man do to firmly “hold” (strengthen) this positive belief about his wife? What should this man avoid that would “loosen” (weaken) his belief?
- • List ways that the man in the example could propagate The Hunt to other areas of his life? That is, how might he employ the same method he used to find his wife the most beautiful woman in the world to hold more positive beliefs about his children, his work, his old car, his accomplishments and so on? What value might there be in doing so?
- • Discuss how is this man’s belief and evidence (kind/standard, source, amount) is similar or different than other beliefs he holds? Such as, his beliefs about the best art and music, the best religion, the best political party (or candidate), the best way to discipline children, and so forth.
- • Understand that ranking your spouse's beauty as being exceptional, even unsurpassed, should be seen as par for the course; just one of many Positive Deviance assessments we all frequently make to find (reveal) beauty and truth. Most of us easily and reverently count as wonderful and true things that other people count as worthless illusions. For example, that God is real, He hears our prayers, He heals and protects us; Jesus died for our sins; He's coming back to to earth to rule someday, but meanwhile He makes personal covert visits, as Mother Teresa observed. By comparison ranking your spouse as better looking than others would is a relative cakewalk.
- Under construction, notes: What the man does is not unique---Beauty contests, like the Miss America pageant, don't proceed or even conclude with consensus. Judges and viewers all use different criteria to judge the beauty ranking of the women under review.
- One of the common ways that people's gift for revealing glory gets tamped down is concern over counter evidence or lack of evidence...or other's people's assessment of evidence. This can be addressed with a beautiful belief found in 1 Corinthians 2
- 9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him
- 10 But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God
- 11 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
- There is a true (not cheating) way which explains why people find more beauty in their spouse than others do. They have a deeper understanding than others. They are seeing things MORE truthfully than the supposed independent observers.
- A man sees a pregnant woman's fat belly with compassion and sees more beauty. Knowing she is pregnant makes a difference. What about knowing she is a child of God, a kind person, or other traits that could reveal glory...?